We all love a bit of reality TV sometimes, don’t we? Watching the lives of strangers, getting invested in their drama and following all kinds of chaotic storylines. What better way to forget about your own daily dilemmas? That’s my version of unwinding. I just finished Season 5 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and while most people are invested in the tea that is still being spilled, there is one important thing these five episodes have shown and reminded me of: the reality of girlhood.
If you have watched this show from the beginning, you have seen it all play out. All the ups and downs of friendships and relationships, exits and comebacks and everything in between. And through it all, there are some important lessons to be learned.
1. Real friendship means showing up
We have seen loyal friends being mistreated in every season, especially Mayci and Mikayla, who have shown nothing but genuine support from day one. They showed up, they listened, they cared and they loved, even when certain friendships were one-sided for a period of time. Just like a marriage vow, you support each other through the best and the worst and your love and loyalty remains.
They have also shown that being a good friend isn’t only about being there for the fun moments. It is about listening, checking in, celebrating each other’s wins and standing beside someone when life gets complicated. To me, Mayci and Mikayla feel like the heart of the group because they are the definition of what sisterhood is all about.
2. Everyone needs their person
Having a partner in crime who understands you and stands by you no matter what, is a blessing in disguise. You can count on them to come through for you, without having to say a word or ask for it. When M&M Incorporated is on a mission, you know they will get to the bottom of whatever they are trying to solve.
There is something so special about having a person who knows your story, understands your sense of humor and can tell when something is wrong without you having to explain it. We all need someone we can call first, whether we have exciting news to share or simply need someone to sit with us through a bad day. Those friendships are such an important part of girlhood because they remind us that we don’t have to navigate everything alone.
3. We grow together
One of the most beautiful parts of female friendship is that we don’t just grow up alongside one another, we get to grow with one another. We change, we make mistakes, we learn and we become different versions of ourselves, and the people who have known us through those different chapters become part of our story.
And maybe that is what makes girlhood so special. It is not about having a perfect group where everyone stays close forever. We have seen throughout the show that relationships can change, people can fall out and sometimes people simply move in different directions. But that does not mean those relationships were not real or meaningful. Sometimes people are there for a chapter, sometimes they find their way back to each other, and sometimes they are a part of a closed chapter. And that’s okay.
We can’t possibly understand it all, as we only get to see the scenes that are chosen by production. There is so much we don’t know, a lot of context missing and a lot of storylines that didn’t make it. That’s Reality TV for you and it does come as a surprise that someone like Whitney or now Mikayla have chosen to exit the show. If I were them, I would have done the exact same. You can be grateful for an opportunity and the doors it opened for you, and still move on to whatever new chapter comes next.
What matters is that, for a period of time, these women found each other, built something together and created a community that became bigger than the show itself. Because ultimately, that is what girlhood is about: the women we meet along the way, the experiences we share with them and the role they play in shaping who we become.
ROARA Magazine 