Today’s world is not what it used to be. The mirror has turned into the front camera, and spoken compliments have been replaced by likes, shares, and views. What used to be fleeting moments of connection are now public metrics of validation.
While girls have always had to endure high expectations and judgement about their looks, manners and words, the rise of the digital world has intensified that scrutiny to an all-time peak. Everything they do, what they wear and who they are with is shared – not just with parents and close friends, but publicly for everyone (with an internet connection) to see. And while that definitely has its perks and good side, it also affects our thinking about presentation, safety and control.
As a girl, you learn very early not to trust strangers – whether that is regarding the nice man offering you candy on your walk home from school, the bartender telling you he will watch your drink while you go to the bathroom or your first boyfriend wanting really badly to come over to your house, when no one is home. Everywhere you turn – potential danger. And as one can probably already make out, the online world does not necessarily increase safety.
Features like “Private Accounts” or “Close Friends Stories,” where you can choose who gets to see your content, are definitely steps in the right direction, but especially careless teenagers could benefit from a little more media awareness.
Still, social media is not all bad and most of all, not all dangerous. While the possible downsides definitely need to be paid (more) thought to, the benefits cannot and should not be pushed aside. To some of us, the internet is their best friend. Ranging from podcasts, videos, blogs and forums to whole websites dedicated to specific topics and probably tons of other things you have not even heard of or considered – everyone will find what they are looking for.
Adding onto that, the online world can create the biggest communities of people supporting the same thing. Being part of fandoms, posting on fanpages and websites and tweeting the day away has been our generation’s favorite pastime activity throughout the years. While you are able to meet new friends, easily learn about different cultures, languages and ways of living, creating your own little online-self can help you figure out who you are enormously.
What often gets overlooked is how little control we actually have over what we see online. Algorithms are designed to keep us hooked — suggesting content that aligns with our insecurities, our wants, and even our worst impulses. The longer we scroll, the more the app “learns” what to show us, often reinforcing unrealistic beauty standards and material desires. Without realizing it, we’re being shaped by a system that’s built for engagement, not wellbeing.
Nevertheless, the concern coming from the majority of parents is not invalid. Being chronically online and therefore always available is just one of the many things having an effect on teenagers’ minds. FOMO – the Fear Of Missing Out – is occupying young people’s brains and leading to decreased concentration and an increased stress level.
Trends are defining people’s lives, 15-second dance-videos on TikTok decide what songs are played on the radio and everything on a young girl’s wishlist often comes from an Instagram ad posted by her favorite influencer.
I, myself, have recently decided to log off – at least for a few months – to put a stop to my own train of thought that kept on pushing towards insecurity and overwhelm. While I tend to miss seeing what my friends are up to, I am far more present in my physical life.
Instead of passively watching everyone’s stories, posts and interactions, I prefer picking up a book or actively reaching out to people important to me. It has been nice being able to listen to stories told by them, not already knowing what was coming, because I had seen their photo dump on Instagram prior to the conversation.
At the same time, we don’t talk enough about the digital footprint we leave behind. Photos, comments, private messages — everything lives on long after it’s posted. Teenagers in particular aren’t often taught about consent and permanence in a digital context. One careless post or joke made public can follow someone for years, shaping their identity in ways they didn’t choose.
And while the internet can cause harm, it can also offer help. There are countless platforms, apps, and communities that support mental health — from guided meditations and therapy directories to safe spaces for girls to talk about anxiety, stress, or media burnout. Sometimes, knowing where to look makes all the difference.
How is there not a subject for it in schools everywhere? Even we could have benefited from it back in the day when social media started to become a thing.
A proper curriculum could include everything from understanding privacy settings and digital consent to recognizing manipulated images and identifying harmful online behavior. Teaching empathy and critical thinking in digital spaces would help girls navigate the pressure with more confidence and resilience — because let’s be honest, it’s no longer just “the internet”; it’s a major part of life.
Ultimately, taking a break and being consciously offline for a little while would possibly benefit more people than anyone would ever admit. Try it or don’t but don’t wait until it has consumed you to the point where your presence in the real world has gone on standby.
ROARA Magazine 