30-phobia. Yes, that is actually a thing – and you start feeling it and thinking about it way before even getting closer to hit the milestone. This phobia emerges from the pressure society creates on youngsters to have everything figured out before reaching thirty: you must have a well-paid job (even if you hate it), a house (you should have saved enough money), a husband or wife and be ready to have kids soon (because your parents do not want to be old grandparents). What happens is, when you start listening to the expectations external sources have for you and your future, you start neglecting yourself and your own needs. Let me tell you more about that.
Up until last year, I was living on autopilot. I lacked boundaries to family and friends, I was constantly putting other people’s wishes and needs ahead of my own, I was comparing my life achievements to everyone else’s and I was definitely not listening to my body. All that led me to severe anxiety episodes and the feeling of constant exhaustion and overwhelm – to an extent where I had to press the pause button before hitting the state of burnout. Still, to external eyes, I had a great life and I did not have any reason to feel this way.
Looking back to a year ago, my life has taken a 360-degree turn. I had to reconnect with myself and remind myself of who I was outside of others’ inputs. With the help of therapy, I found the courage to embark on a very gratifying self-knowledge journey in order to acknowledge and understand my emotions, needs and triggers. By stepping out of my comfort zone and assuming full control of my life, everything started to unfold accordingly, in alignment with my commitment to be nothing less than my authentic self.
If you have ever experienced anything similar, know that you do not need to have it all figured out nor do you need to enter the race to get it all done before turning thirty. It is okay to pause to find your way again. Everyone has their own journey and path to walk through and when we lose focus because we are trying to accomplish what others think we are supposed to do, we prevent ourselves from becoming our best version. You will miss the beauty of your own path if you are looking and trying to fit into someone else’s. Your best version will always be your most authentic self. That is what you need to find before anything else, outside of external pressures and judgments, living by your own standards.
Do it for yourself and trust the process, the universe will have your back.
ROARA Magazine 