My entire life I’ve always struggled with who I was and who I wanted to be. I always felt pressure to act, be or live a certain way in fear of being judged by others. Our society has this idea of what is right and wrong when it comes to the way of living. I think one of the major pieces of this surrounds sexuality and the perception of it.
I’ve found comfort in knowing that I am not alone in trying to find myself and where I fit in the queer community and with my sexuality. Having artists to look up to and relate to really helped me through my darkest days try to find myself.
Madison Beer was actually one of the first people I ever spoke to about my struggles with my sexuality. I always admired her for being so open and honest with hers. She gave me the most beautiful advice to take it one day at a time, to be patient with myself and to not force myself to have a timeline for coming out etc. To this day I remind myself of those words whenever I’m struggling or feeling lost.
Another artist that has made an impact on my queer journey is Reneé Rapp. One day I was bored and stumbled upon The Sex Lives of College Girls. I became so connected to her Character Leighton, who like me was struggling with her sexuality and living life authentically as her true self. The scene of her coming out to her roommate just clicked in my brain and I remember realizing that in order to be happy and truly live life I needed to be openly and honestly me.
This year I had the opportunity to meet Reneé and thank her for being a part of my queer journey. A few days later I used my photo with her and the scene from the show to come out on social media.
After being able to share my journey I have never felt more carefree, authentic and happy in my life. In this moment, where I am now in my journey I am living life to the fullest and don’t feel scared to be me, something I had been my entire life.
There are without a doubt stereotypes that exist in our society around how one dresses or acts, where people will assume their sexuality based off of that. I think it’s really important for society to understand that how we look externally doesn’t determine who we are internally. Being queer is not reflected in how one looks or is perceived, but who we are deep down.
ROARA Magazine 