Hello there! I’m Victoria, the original fashion writer of ROARA and fashion blogger/stylist. And the most bizarre fact about me is: I live in conditions of war.
I am originally from Ukraine and was born and raised in Odessa, a multicultural city on the seacoast of southern Ukraine. And I lived there peacefully, until the war broke out here in February 2022, causing millions of people to be displaced. I was amongst one of them. During these 1,5 years of war I relocated back and forth a few times, which made me reflect on the terms “home” and “comfort” a lot. And thus I gathered some ideas on how to feel home, even when you are hundreds or thousands miles away from it.
When you leave the place you have spent some years of your life (or maybe even your whole life) and got used to, it’s obviously not easy. Especially when you leave, not knowing if there is going to be anything to come back to. Those thoughts were haunting me all the time and I felt an immense depression even though I literally had the world at my feet. I could go anywhere and do anything I have ever dreamt of but my thoughts were tracing back home. You cannot keep living, knowing your home is being destroyed every second of your life. And so I realized that I was getting stuck in a quicksand of anxiety, solitude and depression.
The very first thing that I could take control of and that brought at least some joy to my life was shopping. But it was not for clothes, instead I started to buy lots of accessories to decorate my temporary (for then unknown period of time) accommodation. I would go to different stores all the time and even though I did not always buy anything, my mind started wondering what else I could get to make my place more comfortable and home-like. This might not change your mental condition but it surely can be the first step towards improving it. Believe me, once you set up things around you, it will be much easier for your brain to accept the idea of settling down.
Next thing you get to do – find friends. At this point it really doesn’t matter if you have the same interests or points of view but you have to make sure you can talk to them physically. Do not trap yourself into believing your online friends will substitute face-to-face conversations. They will not. They might be your best friends and you may trust them with your life but they will not be the people you can go for a cup of coffee with on a rainy weekend. Not because they do not want to but simply because they are far away from you.
Last but not least, find something to keep you entertained and busy. Work, sports, reading/movie club, volunteering, etc. Literally anything that will fill up your schedule. Find what events are happening in the city you live in and attend them. Do anything but do not stay at home for too long. Otherwise, you might lose any sense of reality.
Trust me, I did not perfect these things at once and there were days when I would just go grocery shopping in my PJ’s because I did not feel like getting out of it. And that is fine. Being not able to live and enjoy your life is fine. Getting stuck is fine. Feeling lonely is fine. Give yourself time to live these moments because they will crop up sooner or later and you have to be ready for them so you don’t punish yourself. Do not set your expectations too high, do not force yourself to enjoy every second of your life. And if you feel like life is too hard to handle, take a deep breath and allow yourself to cry.
At the end, every single day you just make the best decision that you possibly can make. And there is no other way to live this life, only you know how to figure it out.
ROARA Magazine 